Why It’s Good I’m Not A Mom
Cupcakes-never made ’em, never will.
I can barely do my own laundry, much less that of children.
I’m not good at soothing others after they have nightmares.
One word: puke.
Scouts would go hungry if I was the Den Mother.
I do not feel funerals are necessary for goldfish.
I’d sing “Born to Run” as a lullabye instead of “Rock-A-Bye Baby”
I keep tools that are dangerous to farm animals on coffeetables for conversation pieces-things that attract little hands.
Breast feeding and Marcus do not go together.
I’d let kids have Kool Aid any time they want.
Two words: dirt bikes!
As you can tell, I’m probably not fit for parenthood, but definitely, DEFINITELY not for mommyhood. This is why it’s so so so good that there are moms to fill those roles. To clean up scraped knees, to give unconditional love, to crawl into bed with when a headcold takes over, to tell where babies come from, to be sure discipline happens without belts and flyswatters, to break up arguments while respecting the feelings of the participants-just to be Mom. To all of you who do these things, thank you…and especially to my own!