Who’d Have Thought Hockey Violence Would Be So Appealing?

There’s an old saying, “Sometimes you go to a fight and a hockey game breaks out!” Back in the days when professional hockey was a lot more violent than it is today, this statement was a little more relevant. It wasn’t uncommon to see a trainer walk onto the ice with a white towel in hand to wipe up bloody stains from the rink.

We’re human. We’re attracted to violence. And yet, when the hockey world decided to go on strike a few years ago, I really lost interest. Hockey was pretty well non-existant to me for a few seasons.

And now, in July, a good two or three months from the start of the 07-08 season, I’m pumped to get it started! Why? Because all other professional sports have disappointed me so much.

Michael Vic-you’re an idiot.. No rationall, healthy human being enjoys watching animals tear each other apart. The fact you encourage dogs to do so is sick and twisted. I hope aan attack pit bull heads straight for your most sensitive areas.

NBA referees caught in scandal-Please, PLEASE blow the whistle on your fellow refs who are as shallow as you. Why? Two reasons: First, to get the cheaters out. Second, so the family can know what a scoundrel you are. I hope they go old school on you and affix your feet in a pair of cement wing tips. Shoeless Joe’s name is fixed in history as a cheater-yours should now override his.

Barry Bonds and other MLB dopers-Thank you, thank you for showing everyone how to take shortcuts for personal gain. Why not just start knocking off liquor stores and banks while you’re at it? I mean, who would even show up for a game(much less practice and spring training) if the fastest way to make money is armed robbery? You’ve left us all questioning what is real, and what is steroids? You’ve twisted my emotions…me and my fellow fans were freaking ecstatic in ’98 when our Cardinal slugger broke the single season home run record. Now, that excitement falls in with the other major disappointments of life; learning about Santa, realizing high school is nothing like Molly Ringwald movies made it out to be, and realizing politicians have nothing but their best interest at heart.

So, folks, watch more hockey.