How Do You Respond When Someone Hurts You?
Did you hear about this sickening case here in Florida? Here’s the quick and dirty…
A teenage girl was lured to an apartment by another teenage girl. When she arrived at the apartment, she was beaten up by six other girls while two teenage boys stood watch outside. Why did this beat down occur? Two reasons: the attacker claims she was taunted and harassed by the atackee(is that a word? ‘Tis now!) on MySpace. Oh, and the attackers wanted to create a video for youtube that everyone would want to see.
Is this disturbing or what?
Okay, let’s assume for a second that everything about this story is correct. Girl A(for assuming since, well, she assumed she was going to this apt. for another reason)really HAD harassed Girl B(for beater)…and let’s assume there was not only the desire for revenge, but also for youtube fame. Which is worse?
Revenge is pretty much a human emotion. The need for fame, however, is something learned. Trying to get famous for something so vile via youtube isone of the downfalls of the net. God knows I love me some youtube, but when people will do anything to gain attention? Yeah, bad stuff like this happpens.
Now, let’s look a little deeper, shall we? Even if Girl A really DID harass Girl B…has Girl B learned nothing in her time on earth? Does she not know that reacting to harassment and bullying is a sure way to guarantee its recurrence? And does she not have the maturity to turn away from bullying, if for no other reason than that gives a bully a few more gallons of fuel for the fire?
More importantly, what do we learn from this scenario? How do you react when provoked?
Yesterday, while doing my program at Academy of the Lakes, I was posed the usual question: what happened to the guy who hit you? A valid question and one I’m happy to answer. Once I explained the criminal aspects, the audience got a little riled up when they learned the man who took my sight did 120 days in the pen. That’s it?, you could hear dozens of them say.
Yep, that’s it. And what did I do(or what do I do now?) since someone hurt me? I turn away from further provocation. I learned nothing is aided by continuing to stoke the fires of emotion. I do what I do(i.e., programs to help increase intelligent choices) and I disregard the offender who hurt me. What else can I do?
If I continue to be angry and bitter over an accident from a decade and a half ago, how does that benefit my life? It doesn’t. So I don’t.
I’m by no means a walking role model. I’ll refrain from listing all my bad traits and habits, but I will admit the one thing I do really, really well is turn away from that aspect of my past. It’s over. I can do nothing to change it. I walk away.
Girl B could learn a little something by walking away, too.