Things My Father Taught e…

Posted May 31, 2008

I’m a certified craigslist junkie. I admit it. When someone wants to unload 2000 hardback mystery novels for a $20 bill, there’s Marcus ready to buy them up. Or non-used espresso makers. Or 12 string guitars. Or whatever catches my ear.

The very best part of craigslist is (strangely enough) called, “Best Of Craigslist” (convenient, eh?)

Usually Best Of consists of hilarious accounts of blind dates, trying to sell some useless junk, humorous prose or whatever aspiring writers think is entertaining for Joe CLer like moi.

Today, though, I found the following. Could a better tribute be paid to anyone? Not the usuall funnies I find on Best Of, but coming up on Father’s Day, I thought I’d share…
***************

Things my father taught me——————————————————————–
The measurement of my finger from the tip to the first joint is 1 inch…depth for planting peas.
The measurement to the second joint is 2 inches…depth for corn.
Return borrowed things in better shape than when you borrowed them.
There are two types of trouble…one is the trouble you knowingly walk into, the other is trouble that just happens…it’s important to know the difference.

Walk softly but carry a big stick.
if you have to use said stick, make sure who you use it on, doesn’t get up.
Grits is good.
Foul language is a sign of a limited vocabulary
Orion, the Big and Little Dippers.
Everyone is a friend until proven otherwise.
Licorice ferns, huckleberries, nettles, sword ferns.
Tabasco won’t kill you even if you eat it by the spoonfull.
Don’t watch the clock when you’re at work.
Fish can see you if you look over the side of the boat.
Fish can hear you if you talk to loud.
Respect the elders.
Never go to bed angry.
That which does not kill you will hurt like the dickens, but it will make you stronger.
Family is the most important thing on earth.
How to play the guitar, spoons, mouth harp, and water filled bottles.
The true meaning of “Self Made Man”
If you don’t know something, go to the library and learn it.
The phrases “I don’t know”, “I forgot”, or “I tried (and failed)” are excuses.
There is a difference between an excuse and a reason, know the difference.
Take care of your apperance…even if it is just a t-shirt and jeans.
The world can change everything about you, except your point of view…unless you allow it to.