Why Closeness Does Not Equal Joy

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Through a ton of self reflection, I’ve come to know that I value relationships above pretty much anything else. When I put a ring on it, my marriage to The Hottness became the most important thing in my life. And, it remains.

Anyone who has been married for more than six months will say that the incredible moments of joy from one’s wedding day will wane. And, anyone who tells you differently is a big fat liar. When two people are in relationship, they may always be in love, but even those who are in love have to admit that, some times, they aren’t in like. To me, the key is to keep the scales weighted to the times of like and enjoyment and joy with your partner. End the times when you aren’t in like as quickly as possible because, ya know, letting those get out of hand are dangerous to any relationship.

So, the Hottness and I were talking last night and I posed this question, “What are three times when you and I have been at our closest?” She answered and then turned the question back to me. I had a hard time slimming it to just three. But, what we found is that our answers had a commonality: We both felt closest to the other during times of extreme trauma and drama. Like, when mE took care of me after I nearly died from an infection a few years ago. Or when, after surgery, she was helpless and I took care of her. We feel love in stability and knowing the other person is constantly present.

But, those are NOT fun times!

So, we reworked our conversation to talk about our funnest experiences together. Being on vacation, playing in the snow, going to concerts, laughing our butts off at entertainment, hanging with our families. Those are times of joy. So, why don’t we have more of these? Because life gets in the way. Bills to pay, obligations, errands to run, doctor appointments, housework to be done. Just life.

So, we decided to make a true effort to do the things that bring us joy. And that’s why I’m off to call a travel agent.

Thought for the day: what brings you joy? Why aren’t you doing more of those things? Then, my wish is that you, too, will spend some time in self reflection and commit to adding more joy to your life.

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