The Art (and Science) of “Being With”
For the last several years, I’ve had the honor of teaching pre-meds at University of Notre Dame. The course is called “The Pathos Project”.
Pathos, in translation, means suffering. Our goal is to teach future docs how to truly “be with” patients during their times of suffering.
At Notre Dame, we use a four-part definition of compassion:
- Witnessing suffering
- Being moved by that suffering
- Having a desire to ease the suffering
- Finally, actually doing something about it
In short: Compassion is action.
With this four-part definition, one of the early exercises in the class is to simply note a few distractions that get in the way of being present in the moment. Things like, the room is too warm, I’m hungry, I have so much to do, the chair is too hard, I’m stressed over a deadline, etc.
When we note the things that get in the way of our listening we’re more easily able to set them aside to be in the present moment.
Try it for yourself! Take just a minute to name just a few things that are current distractors. Then, see if mentally acknowledging these stressors doesn’t also ease them, and give you space to return to action of listening.
Doing something about human suffering…that is compassion at its finest.